CREATIVE NON-FICTION

She's here. She's taking my energy. She's breaking me down. She's forcing me to question my choices. She's left me with nothing but crumbs on a sticky carpet. 

Don't worry: I know who she is and why she's doing it. The wonderfully sadistic Creative Process has found a home in my head upon a rocky bed. She's not quite comfortable on there, yet. She keeps leaving a trail of rubble. If only I could vacuum my brain. 

Amidst my grainy brainy, I remembered sales advice from Michael Scott: Keep it simple, stupid. And guess what? I think he's on to something.

What do forming a business and choreographing a dance have in common?

(A) You experience both delusions of grandeur and the weight of unfettered doubt in a 2-hour period, everyday.

(B) You finally make a choice only to forget it, hate it, or be confused why you made the choice in the first place.

(C) You see the completed product clearly in your head, but when you try to describe it to someone else, you sound like you failed your 2nd grade English lesson.

(D) All of the above

Congratulations: You are witnessing the Creative Process.

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DID YOU KNOW?

­The Creative Process is vehemently tied to:

-Strategic planning

-Business innovation

-Data storytelling

-and basically anytime you're starting a new project or solving a new problem!

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It's true: I learned in my 5 short years in Corporate America that many business folk don't realize the Creative Process and the artist it haunts are lurking in the shadows of abandoned spreadsheets, strategic plans that are actually just wish lists, and 60-page slide decks no one reads. But it's OKAY!!! The artists won't get us in our conference rooms. We just happen to think alike in more ways than we know. Just steal like an artist and learn how to make the Creative Process your b*tch.

You and me, we're not so different. I'm SO GUILTY of causing my own burnout. After pages of scribbled notes and deleted social media posts, I'm taking a stand. I'm declaring peace. I'm keeping it simple so I don't feel stupid.

*proceeds to vacuum and hide clutter*

THE LESSON

(1) Embrace the messy Creative Process. There's no other way but through. Understand that the initial rush of delight WILL be followed by confusion, doubt, and, occasionally, a desire to quit. GOOD. It means you're sculpting your thoughts into an actual idea. 

(2) Remember to reflect. Reflect on where you spent too much time and put up guardrails to make it simpler for you next time (note: simple-ER. It'll never be plain simple). Example: Recognize what distracts you and remove it from your process. For me, that's listening to music at work.

(3) Literally just ask for help. There's a wolf inside me that says I can and should do everything alone to prove to someone (???) that I'm ~awesome~. 99% of the time I move faster and smoother when I ask for help or feedback.

March was a lesson in learning how to chill out. If I define success by my usual KPI of "I learned and made an impact," I've accomplished nothing in the past 4 weeks.

I left my most recent job to avoid what my hypochondria told me was a looming heart attack. Suffice it to say: I was stressed. I also quit to focus on my own business and artistic endeavors. 

It's now been just over a month since I resigned. Between March 6 and April 8, it only took:

• 1 week to accept not working every day

• 2 weeks to resume driving the speed limit

• 3 weeks to stop feeling stress-related chest pain

• 4 weeks to heal a random staph infection on my face

In some ways, I did do something: I regulated my nervous system. In other ways, I did nothing except spend too much money and eat too much food. All of this begs the question: Is there a problem in enjoying yourself to your own detriment? 

Yes. We all know one of the rules of life is "everything in moderation." So, besides the obvious fun of it all, what benefit do we get from over-indulgence, from hedonism, from reckless abandon? 

• Clarity

• Direction

• Purpose

We find our limits when we overextend ourselves. Limits define where we are and, more importantly, where we want to be. Once we understand our limits, we can create a path forward with clarity, direction, and purpose. For example:

My stomach hurts because I've eaten too much cake (limit). I prefer feeling good (clarity), so I'm going to eat less cake and more vegetables (direction) because I know that better supports my health (purpose).

Limits exist in our personal, business, and artistic lives. Don't view limits as negative; instead, view them as messages that nudge us towards our goals.

So, is hedonism worth it? My cholesterol says NO. But my inclination to turn every moment into a lesson says YES... and I'm going to stick with that answer for now.